As a good friend said the other day, I’ve been in a bit of a mental storm these past few weeks. I’m too busy with my multiple jobs to be as present as I want to be at home, and I’m too scattered to give anything the 200% I want to.
This is particularly frustrating because I’m always working on achieving life balance. However, does several part-time jobs, sleepless nights, a daughter who says, ‘but mommy…why are you going to work now? You just got home from work?!’ or a messy house and neglected garden reflect balance? Unfortunately, no. It seems my ‘working on it’ isn’t really working.
Well this week was the breaking point. I just got too tired and too overworked. I had a good cry, some wonderful talks with supportive friends, decided to take a break, and went right back to my ‘busy’ ways. Yeah. WTF. Did I learn nothing?!
It’s amazing to think how hard it is to break the cycle of no self-care. When I’m going going going it all feels so urgent that I don’t allow myself to ever stop and breath, meditate, take a yoga class, take a run…do ANYTHING for myself (unless you could the counterproductive eating of indulgent foods). After a while, it’s like a damn breaks and I can’t keep back how overwhelming it all feels. But then I seem to get right back in the cycle.
I want to stop this cycle from happening again, but I’m not sure how. When I don’t know how to do something the first thing I do is talk to friends and the second thing I do is read some books. I’m hoping some self-care learning and proactive planning to live the life I truly believe is good for me and my family can keep me moving in the direction of balance.
Here’s what’s on my bedside table…
What do you read to help you think about the importance of balance and work towards it?